Yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor to diagnose me. Unfortunately, I didn't get the diagnoses that I wanted. I was informed that I am a Diabetic. Scared! I'm freaked out! What now? Can I really do this and beat this? Where do I go when I need help, when I need to be told that I'm stronger then this? I can't begin to deal with this. There's so much information I need to find the time to read through.
I was prescribed a medication to help control my sugar levels. It has one side effect that is killing me. My stomach has always been bad, this medication makes it REALLY bad.
So this is day one on this medication, and my sugars don't seem lower to me. Since I got the news yesterday, I've only been eating things that I know are low or non-sugared. Why have my numbers remained where they were prior to my medication?
Ugh, I have alot to do this week.........
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Postponed Results!
Ugh! If it wasn't bad enough waiting for Tuesday, now I get the pleasure of waiting until tomorrow.
Everyday I get more worried more scared. What am I to do? Who has the right information about whats going on in my body?
So on my lists of things to do today, Get Health insurance! That's it! I just learned that medicaid will take up to 45 days to approve me. But from what I hear they back date the insurance coverage to cover that time too.
Stressed, scared and uninsured FML!
Everyday I get more worried more scared. What am I to do? Who has the right information about whats going on in my body?
So on my lists of things to do today, Get Health insurance! That's it! I just learned that medicaid will take up to 45 days to approve me. But from what I hear they back date the insurance coverage to cover that time too.
Stressed, scared and uninsured FML!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Afraid Of Tomorrow!
Where do I begin?
I guess I should tell you all about my last 2 plus weeks. Two weeks ago on Monday I started feeling wicked sick. I thought it was due to the fact that I had my period. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Let me explain all of my symptoms.
Last Monday, after a week straight of having a headache, Mary started freaking out at me for not seeing my doctor. Which by the way I must point out that I did try to see my doctor; but the NP was in the office and she runs late all the time, so I left so that I could get Michael from pre-school on-time; and I re-scheduled for the following week (Thursday, yes less then 4 days after this freak out of hers). So I called the office and made an appointment for later that day. When I got there I rattled off all my symptoms to the NP. She said she thinks it’s a virus but she asked me to check my blood sugars every morning as soon as I wake up. Which I've been doing with upsetting results. My sugars have been HIGH like 200's HIGH. So I called my doctors on Friday and was told that my doctor was off all weekend and will be back Tuesday and I shouldn’t go to the hospital unless my sugar is over 200 in the morning. So I should have gone on Sunday but I figured I wanted to wait until Tuesday.
This brings me to why I’m AFRAID of my Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning regardless of what my sugars are I will either be in the hospital or visiting my doctors office and I'm scared of the outcome.
Diabetes scares the hell out of me. The things that happen to diabetics scare me. Kidney failure, loss of body parts, the idea of stabbing myself everyday with an insulin shot, these are some of the things that scare me so much about being a diabetic.
I guess I should tell you all about my last 2 plus weeks. Two weeks ago on Monday I started feeling wicked sick. I thought it was due to the fact that I had my period. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Let me explain all of my symptoms.
- Monday night before I went to bed I began to feel frozen to the bone. You know the cold feeling I'm talking about its the one where you are shaking like a leaf about to fall from the tree and wrapping yourself in a blanket doesn't even begin to warm you. So I decided to turn on my heated mattress pad and dress in heavy winter PJ's, and rolled into my comforter and laid down to go to sleep. About an hour later I wake up sweating, so I turned off the heated mattress pad and tried to go back to sleep. Not an hour goes by and now I wake up sweating bad so I get out of bed open the window, turn on the fan take my clothes off and throw a sheet over me and go back to sleep. I wake up Tuesday morning and my bed is soaked and so am I. Yuck!
- The endless headache that Advil doesn't even begin to get rid of.
- MY STOMACH! For those of you who know me this isn't abnormal but that first week was crazy painful. If I even thought to eat I was in the bathroom minutes later.
- The Hot flashes! I can’t control my body temp at all.
Last Monday, after a week straight of having a headache, Mary started freaking out at me for not seeing my doctor. Which by the way I must point out that I did try to see my doctor; but the NP was in the office and she runs late all the time, so I left so that I could get Michael from pre-school on-time; and I re-scheduled for the following week (Thursday, yes less then 4 days after this freak out of hers). So I called the office and made an appointment for later that day. When I got there I rattled off all my symptoms to the NP. She said she thinks it’s a virus but she asked me to check my blood sugars every morning as soon as I wake up. Which I've been doing with upsetting results. My sugars have been HIGH like 200's HIGH. So I called my doctors on Friday and was told that my doctor was off all weekend and will be back Tuesday and I shouldn’t go to the hospital unless my sugar is over 200 in the morning. So I should have gone on Sunday but I figured I wanted to wait until Tuesday.
This brings me to why I’m AFRAID of my Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning regardless of what my sugars are I will either be in the hospital or visiting my doctors office and I'm scared of the outcome.
Diabetes scares the hell out of me. The things that happen to diabetics scare me. Kidney failure, loss of body parts, the idea of stabbing myself everyday with an insulin shot, these are some of the things that scare me so much about being a diabetic.
I feel like crying! My Parents are diabetics along with my little brother Brian. And what I’m about to say will make them mad as hell at me. They don’t pay attention to it. They claim to be doing the right thing by themselves and Brian and yet there are tons of sweets in this house. They never really even test their sugars. I can’t be that person. If it’s my sentence to struggle with this disease then I will do everything in my power to beat it. I will not be like my parents! I will lose weight! I will follow the diet and exercise plans. Next summer this girl will be SKINNY! But what else can I do to fix this problem? Time will tell.
Wish me luck, I have a feeling I’ll need it!
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